Is Fear The Boss Of You?

Posted by Jackie Lopez on

Living our best lives means doing the things we really want to do.

Doing the things we really want to do takes guts.

Having guts takes courage, passion and tenacity.


I know you don't lack any of that, so why don't more of us go for it?


Because many of us are caught up the mundane. Many of us stopped believing more was possible. Many of us feel a burning desire for more with every fiber of our being, yet we still don't move.


Why you ask?




Your particular flavor of fear may vary, but I bet when you think of the thing you really, truly want, the next thought that pops into your mind is a fear based one.


How will I do that? What does that look like? I don't have the money or resources to pull that off. What if it doesn't work? What of they judge me? What if I go broke? What if I can't do it? What if they don't understand? What if I fail? What if I succeed?


We get caught up in all the questions that we don't immediately have answers to and instead of going and finding answers, giving it a try to see exactly what we are capable of and exactly how it could work, we effectively slash the throat of our desires and willingly go back to the mundane. When nothing changes, nothing changes so, that's that, right?


But you can't shake the feeling. You feel in your core that you were made for more. You may even feel on the verge of a breakdown, which by the way is totally not necessary but can be cosmically arranged if that's what you really want.


Here is what I would like you to know:


Life is either changing now or it's not.


Good news though! The opportunity to choose more empowering thoughts is always available to you. Which means changing your life is just a few new thoughts away! But first, we've got to address the things that holds us back – fear.


It is a common misconception among us to think that some of us are fearless while the rest of us are not.


It's total bullshit.


I have yet to meet a human alive that is truly fearless. Fear is actually a pivotal part of the growth process, if you ask me. Fear allows us to notice the things we feel uncertain about. When we notice them, we can question them. When we question them, we can decide if we choose to keep believing them or not. We can lean in and decipher what is triggering us and driving our feelings and then we can decide what to do from here. What's the next step forward?


I can't tell you what that looks like for you, but I can tell you without a doubt what those of us living our dreams don't do-


We don't worry about what others are doing or what they think we should be doing.

We don't compromise our standards.

We don't let our emotions paralyze us.

We don't make excuses.

We don't quit.


Here's a cute graphic if you want to save this, make it your screen saver or refer to it as a reminder of what NOT to do when you are struck with fear.

Fear is a part of every new level we rise to. No matter the level of mastery we've achieved, or how much money we have made, there will always be something new, unknown and yet to be mastered, and it is normal to feel fear around it. It is not that we who move in fear are fearless, it is that we have learned to be courageous and move anyway.


Are you willing to sit with your feelings of fear? It is surely easier to dismiss them and move along.


Are you willing to move with your fears, thanking them for the awareness they've provided and stepping forward with conviction toward your desires? A much taller order but I believe in you.


I know you can be anything you want to be and live a life more wonderful than your wildest dreams because if I can do it, we can do it. There is nothing special about me, except that I refuse to give up on myself. I continue to feel the fear that arises in me, dissect it, and decide how to move. It is when we stop moving that we get stuck. When fear paralyzes us, it provides the perfect platform for ego to creep in with a story, a worry, or a handful of doubts. When ego is amped up, it makes it next to impossible to hear our true selves. We lose clarity and everything feels upside down. We feel powerless. Mostly because we give our power away – to our fears. I know the pattern because I lived it for years. I was too afraid to make the changes I desired to make, I let the fears of the unknown overwhelm me and I chose to believe that my fears were my truth, so I made no changes, no moves. I wasn't aware then that I didn't have to just let my fears be right. Now I know my fears are not in charge of me.


Owning that truth allows up to show up and move differently. Then suddenly everything is different, even though seemingly nothing is. Fearless has a whole new meaning. We can be both fearless in our pursuit of what lights our soul on fire while being terrified of each new unknown twist and turn along the journey. It is what we do with those fears that separates the fearful from the fearless.


If reading this made you realize you have been playing small and giving in to your fears for too long, I would love to share my first Black Friday offer with you.  It doesn't officially drop until tomorrow but if you reply to this email and ask, I'll spill the tea. 


Keep an eye out for my announcements all this week in Get It Together, Girl. I'll be dropping special offers all week that include both products and coaching and I can't wait to share them with you!

Hugs and love and a high vibe, high five,


1 comment

  • Great message! Paralyzed by emotions happens to me sometimes but learning to move through them feels better and more powerful each time I push through. Thank you!

    Erin on

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